This is Absent Minds's “I Am God”. Uh, no. You are not God. Not even the Devil would love you. How arrogant do you have to be to think you're God?
The first big problem is the production. It's a piss and diarrhea soup. Everything sounds so muffled. Needless to say, the production is pretty bad, but not as bad as it is on some other demos I've listened to. Theistic Inferno's “Embryo” demo had some horribly muffled production, but I still managed to like it. Blue Hummingbird on the Left's “BloodFlower” demo had even worse production, but I still managed to like that as well. Having bad production does not condemn an album if the music is still good. So does this demo have good music?
No. No it does not.
The demo starts off with some acoustic guitars, and I think to myself that I might like what they have to offer. Then I heard the female vocals, and my enthusiasm quickly crumbled into dust. This whiplash was akin to receiving a slow, smooth handjob from a silken glove only to have the woman twist your dick, thus giving you a serious Indian burn on your shaft. This woman can't sing worth a shit. Her singing is almost spoken word; she doesn't even try. Her tone is completely flat, and I get the impression that she has had no vocal training whatsoever. She's like a female William Hung, only without the “so bad it's good” quality. The bad production simply amplifies the shittiness; she sounds like she's shouting down a long hallway, like an angry gypsy woman who keeps accusing you of stealing her cats.
The other vocals are no better. One guy performs growls that are merely average at best. Then there are the black metal vocals, and the guy performing them sounds like an angry turkey. During all of this, the keyboards play furiously in the background. At times, they remind me of Bagatur, the only difference being that the keyboards in Bagatur were actually well-played and reinforced the atmosphere instead of being totally obnoxious and unnecessary.
The other instruments are better, but they're still pretty bad. The bass is a mere rumbling in the background. The drums play simple rhythms and simple fills and they have no punch to them at all. The only aspect of this album that can actually be considered good are the guitars. They're tuned well, they play some rather infectious riffs, and there are even moments where they play some crazy solos, but after all the bullshit these assholes put me through, it's too little too late. Not even awesome guitars can save this demo from the shit heap.
You'd have to be pretty absent-minded to like Absent Mind. They are not God, and if you think they are, then that means you're an idiot and I have every right to punch you in the dick. Holy shit, I put more effort into writing this review than they did in recording their demo. Ladies and gentlemen, please stay the fuck away from this demo. Then again, this demo was printed up in extremely limited quantities, so staying away from it should be pretty easy.
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